When I think about how to let go and just focus on the present instead of looking back at the past, it all seems so very simple. “Just do it,” right? Unfortunately human emotions are more complicated than that, we hold onto the past. In some cases the adage that you are doomed to repeat history if you ignore it is part of that reason. We are taught that in historical analysis we find the faults and failures and repair them in future endeavors. At least, I think most of us do, this may be my military upbringing clashing into my emotional behavior.
But what if we are looking at those past behaviors and holding onto them as crutches? What if we continue rehash the behavior over and over again in the name of learning from it, only to continue to just bring up the emotions and never deal with the behavior?
In my first post of the year on intentions, I had posted that I shared with my husband a practices from a Core Desired Feelings workbook:
“FEELING: How do you want to feel in your life? Do a stream- of- consciousness riff: concepts, words, feelings, images. This is about optimal, positive, nourishing, and good— very good— feelings. Put them all on paper. Let a tsunami of desire flood you. Invest in yourself. Want what you want. Go.” Exerted from the
CDR Worksheet shared freely from Danielle LaPorte
In looking at the words and emotions I used to describe myself and my husband’s response, he has since stated that I’ve been negative on myself for all the years we have known each other, in fact it’s one of those things that he really dislikes about me! How I dislike myself. Seems a little strong but honestly it was told to me in a loving manner. And as we laughed about it, I shared with him that one of my intentions is not to speak negatively about myself. I wake up each morning and I’ve begun a mantra given to me from a dear friend, it is not always easy to say and sometimes I have to say it a few times a day.
No I don’t actually do that, but it is funny we laugh at it and jest at the skit. But if we said that to ourselves as often as we say “I’m not good enough, people won’t like me for me” we might have a few more real relationships with people and more importantly a real relationship with our wonderful self.
So my intention, my mantra: “I am strong, fit, wonderful, beautiful, healthy, and caring. I am a loving mother, wife, daughter, and friend. I am intelligent and open to learning all variety of ideas. I am complex and emotional, and that is fabulous.”
We are back in Georgia, DH is with me for a week, then off to NY to sign in to the next duty station and move into our next home! So excited we have on-post housing lined up, never thought I’d want to live on-post, but looking forward to it there. Upstate NY and the “lake effect” of Watertown has me not wanting a big commute for my next job.
On the exercise and healthy eating front: This morning we had a great healthy breakfast and I added in a basic triple berry and kale smoothie as a juice drink to our eggs and hash browns. After a good wait we headed for the Savannah Rapids Pavilion where we got in a 5 mile loop!
So hello 2014! And so begins – running statistics ;) Hey I’m not all about the emotional intentions this year, the physical intentions need to keep up too.
- Distance 5.02 mi
- Duration 00:48:00
- Pace 09:34 min/mi